two lemons

You know the pain I talked about last month, well life has been definitely handing me more lemons.
A few weeks ago, I had an accident with my roommate and unfortunately, my left foot got badly sprained. With it being just over three weeks since the accident, my foot is only about 30% healed, which is obviously not as quick as my doctor or I would like, but it is feeling alot better than that first week!!

Ice + elevation, just what the doctor ordered!

It was a Tuesday, just after 2 pm when the accident happened. I was in my doorway (in my wheelchair) and my roommate drove toward me and stopped, then proceeded to lean forward to hand me something. Well, somehow something hit her joystick box and her chair zoomed in toward my chair. Her chair kept going forward into my chair causing my footrest to bend up (close) which my feet were on and my left foot was bending backwards (also for those that don't know my ankles and feet on turned more on their side since I was a teenager but have turned more as I've gotten older)..so it's turned on its side and bending backward!! When I realized that the footplate was closing and my foot was getting crushed, I tried to drive my chair backwards back into my room, but my left wheel was stuck in the doorway, so I was trapped. When my roommate realized what was happening and that her chair was un-purposely driving into me, she got control of it and drove back away. This all happened so fast.

8.16, my feet have mild swelling already, but the left is def more!

 

 

I was hysterical! I was screaming, heaving, crying, wailing at the pain my foot was in. As I was in that state, it caught my attention that I wasn't breathing well, so I tried to concentrate on taking slow deep breaths, exhaling out the pain in ooOooOo's. My poor foot spasmed heavily on its own due to the trauma that just occurred. Both of my caregivers and also nurse on duty gathered at the scene. I drove back into my room and my nurse went and got me a bag of ice and then went to call my primary doctor. We put the ice on my foot, which said ice pretty much never left my foot until last week as it wasn't even helping anymore with the swelling. It's over three weeks later and my foot is STILL swollen and feeling numb at times. Within two hours I was getting an x-ray of my foot. The x-ray tech is an awesome one and he worked his portable machine around my injured foot. Thankfully, no bones were broken but my foot was definitely injured.

Since last tuesday, Ive been putting an Ace wrap bandage around my foot/ankle per my doctor's suggestion. My foot does feel better with that on for sure. I just gotta  keep being more patient with that healing on top of my other parts of my body hurting. Funny note, I had to take off my toe ring from the continue swelling. My toe tells me it feels naked.

prepped for the MRI. three times a charm for pokes

On August 25th, I went to the hospital to get an MRI of my back to figure out what may be causing the pain in my body. While there, my right arm got injured! I specualate that my arm fell down a bit off my chest from how the nurses placed my arms, and probably hit the machine as I was coming out of the tube. I was under general anesthesia because:

1. my body is severly contracted due to my disease
2. the scan was over 2 hours and you have to be still the whole time plus I am slightly claustrophobic

My caregiver that was with me was not allowed in the room with me so she couldn't see if an accident happened. There was a small window in the door that she could see me through, but the angle that the machine was there was no way she could see me going in or out of the tube. As I was waking up from the anesthesia, my right arm and back were KILLING me! I was screaming and crying so much. Thankfully soon, one of the MRI techs came to help lift me from the flattened bed (no good)and placed me bac into my wheelchair. It took me like 15 minutes to open and stretch my arm to be able todrive my wheelchair! My overseeing nurse there thought that my arm was just really stiff from being in the same position for over two hours, but I knew it wasn't that. something was wrong. I just couldn't believe how much pain I wsa in. My caregiver asked if I could take my pain pills (that I had brought crushed in yogurt with me)...but I needed to wake up more from the anesthesia. I sure did and took them, but my pain was so bad that they didn't help much at all. My nurse said that if I EVER needed another MRI that we'd have to get a doctor's order to give me morphine in the "recovery" stage after the amount of pain she witnessed in me.

After calming down and being able to drive as best I could,we strolled over to the cafeteria for some food and drink. I hadn't been able to eat or drink anything since midnight the night before and I went in for my scan around 2pm. All I new was that i was:
IN PAIN
SO HUNGRY
SO THIRSTY
MY HEAD WAS POUNDING (but that was a side effect of the anesthesia)

Later, my caregiver noticed a bad bruise on my lower right arm at my elbow. That bruise is going away, but another bruise popped up on my right bicep (the area that deeply hurts) on sunday (8/31) while another one of my caregivers was bathing me. We thought maybe it showed up because the swelling went down a bit. I had an x-ray taken on tuesday (9/2) and no broken bones but there must be pulled muscle or torn tendon and the only way to check for that is a CT scan or MRI. Adter I found that out I was like HECK NO! I am NOT going through another MRI. Who knows, my arm could just be really sprained.

I thought by this weekend that I'd be able to do my makeup but that's not gonna happen. I have SUCH wonderful friends who will do my makeup for me, for special occasions like for church or a meet-up with friends and also who will pluck your eyebrows!

To give you an idea of how bad my arm is, here are some major things I cannot do yet: feed myself with my right arm ( i am right handed), cut tougher food, brush my teeth, wash my face, mail a letter (putting the red flag up), checking the mail, putting my breathing treatments on, or plugging my phone in to charge. This whole situation has brought to mind Bethany Hamilton. I know my dilemma is NO where near her reality, but I am basically using one arm, my left, and it's a challenge indeed. Even I, who am disabled, took for granted the things I CAN or could do and I can't wait to get back my abilities!

By God's good grace and many sweet prayers from friends and family, I've been healing even if it's slowly. I can definitely move my arm a bit more (why I am finally able to blog a bit.)

I cannot wait for my follow-up appointment with my nuerologist about my MRI results. The appointment is not til September 29th! I am so bummed that it's still weeks away but that was the first available appointment. Honestly, it's gonna be a long month. I know because of the reasons. I've been praying so hard for relief from the pain I am in daily. I truly sympathize with those who may be going through something similar. pain is pain and everyone tolerates pain differently or more or less. I am definitely on the low tolerance side.

I can tell you that it's draining. This is a difficult period in my life. no doubt. My physical health is not well, but I am feeling encouraged and uplifted spiritually and I am so thankful for that. Without it, I'd be lost and in more distress.

someone that I used to know

Do you know what Vitiligo is?
No. It's not some Italian dessert, though it does sound like a fancy, sweet Italian word lol.

It's often known as the skin problem Michael Jackson had. Well, I have it too.

Vitiligo is a skin condition/auto-immune disorder (as I understand, in case most doctors don't even know what causes it) in which the skin loses its pigment. As a result of not producing melanin (which gives skin its pigment), one ends up with white patches or spots on their body.

My white spots were first discovered about five years ago by my caregiver chila one night a few months after I moved here. The spots were small, like the size of rice or marker dots underneath my thighs. Since then, the spots have joined together to make large patches! It's gone from under my legs/thighs to my chest and shoulders (this area has been most affected), to my right arm, left hand and even my face. Because of this reason, I wear capped sleeved tee shirts under tank tops or spaghetti strapped tops/dresses for my skin will burn so easily! I literally have no pigment on my shoulders to help protect from sunburn. I get like, OUCH red, itchy, bumpy sunburn!
No me gusta!

Again, this is another reason why I advocate to EVERYONE (whether or not they are tanned or have all of their pigment) to wear sunscreen!Protect your skin! Isn't it the largest organ we posses!? I seriously have, "I dont want to get skin cancer" burned (no-pun intended) in my mind! Also, who really wants pre-mature age spots or wrinkly skin?! Not me!

So anyways, in my younger days, even up to 3 years ago, I used to be wayyyyy more vain. When I could visibly see my skin changing within months, I (mostly) accepted it and handled it fine until...(keep reading). I was just thankful that it wasn't painful! I used to tell myself, "as long as it doesn't go to my face. that probably won't happen. it's only on my legs and chest. please don't go to my face."

haha, well guess what? Miss-who-cares-so-much-about-her-face-i-mean-thats-what-everyone-immediately-sees, was in for a lesson. Sure enough, two new small white patches appeared on my face! First one to happen was above my right eye at the hairline and the other on my chin. And to top if off, my hair was turning white, like a huge patch near the crown. Man, i felt like an old lady.

I've been to the dermatologist to address this issue and was given a special cream to use on those skin spots. I tried it for a short time because I ended up having a reaction to the product and wasn't really noticing a difference anyway, so i stopped using it. I learned that I wasn't THAT vain because I really didn't care to try those other treatments that might or might not work.

So, seriously, at first, I was more upset about it occuring on my face. At least i am light complected! That definitely helps. Most people that saw me never even noticed unless I pointed out the two spots! They'd say, "Oh britt, you can cover them up with makeup. use makeup to make them darker."

"haha are you kidding? I don't want to look like a cheetah!", is what I'd say. In reality, using shades darker to to try to "hide" the white spots was going to make those areas more noticeable. I cried and became slightly depressed because of this changing my outward appearance! We as women, especially in our society, place so much value on our physical beauty. I was definitely feeling the pressure of something I could not control.

I just didn't want to have another problem.
I just didn't want to have to worry about something else.
I just wanted the spots to blend in.
I didn't like these changes. 
And change, my friends, is something that is guaranteed in life.
Ultimately, I've just continued using the same shade of foundation or tinted moisturizer all over my face and letting my true colors show! ha! :)

Miss Vain became someone that I used to know.  I'm so glad that I accepted those spots years ago. I am so used to them. They don't bother me anymore. Really, what could I do? I threw my hands up and gave my worries to God. Worry and stress would certainly not stop the process from happening, only possibly, make it progress.

The only thing I do and have been doing is use a bit of concealer to lessen the redness of the spots on my face, because they again, burn easily, even when using spf 50 sunscreen. And, I color my hair about every 6 weeks! ;)

I am Britt. I am spotted and I am beautiful.

To learn more about Vitiligo, you can read a bit about it on webmd.

And to bring a little sunshine to your day, you have the opportunity to enter not one but TWO awesome group giveaways that I am taking part in!

First, check out cute mama-to-be Katie of For Lauren and Lauren's blog!, where accessories and giftcards to Starbucks & Ulta are to be had!

Second, over at Southern Beauty Guide where LOTS of good ad space is up for grabs as well as few other fantastic prizes! Click click, say hi and good luck!  Now a note from sweet Chelsee.....

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Hello Lovelies!

I am so excited to announce the start of my largest monthly sponsor giveaway ever! I have eleven ladies, including myself have joined together to give you an amazing giveaway!

Natalie: Blog // Facebook  -   Adriana: BlogLovin' // Blog  -   Bekah: Facebook // BlogLovin' Brittany: Twitter // BlogLovin'  -   Amy: Blog // Facebook  -   Erin:  Blog // BlogLovin' Leslie: BlogLovin' // Twitter  -   Allison: Facebook // Instagram  -   Rachel: Twitter // Instagram Jacquelyn: BlogLovin' // Twitter   -   Chelsee: Blog // BlogLovin'
What's Up for Grabs: 3 Months of Ad Space from Natalie AD Space from Adriana Ad Space from Bekah $5 in Paypal Cash from Brittany Ad Space from Amy Saturday Guest Post & Pair of Beer-Ings from Erin Gift card from Leslie Ad Space from Allison $20 Store Credit to Country Couture from Rachel $5 in Paypal Cash from Jacquelyn AD Space from Chelsee

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