Monday, September 30, 2013

sunday style + trust in the Lord

Howdy hey!

We've got another installment of sunday style with miss amanda. We totally didn't plan our outfits, but we kinda matched! I can say that I like dressing up a bit for church. It's just fun. And it's even more fun to have a friend to do style posts with!

So one of the themes in my life, in general, these past few days has been trust. to trust in the Lord.

I know that it can be difficult to not worry or stress about things. I know that it seems nearly impossible to try to remain calm [hello! I get anxiety often] and give complete surrender to the Lord, but I know that when we do, he grants us his peace. Life is no doubt, full of trials and hardships. No one ever said life would be easy. Thankfully, for me, my faith in God has allowed me to endure such hardships but also to come out on top, brighter & stronger than before, and for sure, closer to God.

Here some scriptures that I like that remind me to trust in the Lord. Sure, I've heard or read of the following often, but I ask myself, how often have i really pondered and prayed over these words?

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.---psalms 118:8

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.---proverbs 3:5

But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.---psalms 73:28

I think too, that as we put our trust in God, one, we are practicing our faith and second, we are relying on Him. And as we draw near to Him, he draws near to us.

Amanda's outfit details//
skirt: tj maxx
top:tj maxx
jacket: tj maxx
shoes: jcpenny's

Britt's outfit details//
dress:charlotte russe
undershirt: downeast basics
bracelet: gift
ring: fifth & mae
purse: tj maxx

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Friday, September 27, 2013

our house currently reminds me of E.T.

I didn't know, but we are getting our house re-stuccoed. I was awaken before 7 am with pounding right outside my window. After I got up and around in my chair, I saw the plastic sheets covering the house windows and front door area. It totally reminded me of E.T. You guys know what I am talking about right? Where those fbi/army authorities quarantine E.T. and Elliot in the house?

hahah Yes. We are the E.T. house today. No one can exit the house through the front door. When all is done and repainted, our house is gonna look so pretty.

Today was also a happy mail day! I received a cute little note from a dear friend.

So who else watched Grey's anatomy last night? We didn't realize that it was a 2-hour premier, but dang, it was so good! With that, I ended up missing Parenthood, but not to fear, because I've got the episode all ready to watch tonight on my laptop.
 I was a bit surprised that Jackson rejected April, sad that Heather died!, hurting for both Arizona & Callie, happy for Mere & Derrick's new baby and cried when Bailey was trying to save Dr. Webber! Oh, me and Amanda both felt so emotionally involved with these characters! Was definitely a fun night.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Enjoying this fall weather. I have a full weekend planned, so we'll catch up early next week.

take care. :)

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Thursday, September 26, 2013

help wanted & a vlog

what a past few days this has been. I've been productive people! yay! I re-started making cards and it felt good to have glue and ink all over my fingers. I am planning to start making Halloween and Christmas cards in this next week! Christmas cards are always the highest in demand from my family & friends. I am so thankful for their support. Because of them, i am able to make a bit of money, which is quite helpful.

I am thinking that maybe i can display some cards I've made on the blog & then if any of you are interested in buying one, you could just leave me a comment and then I'll email you? I am not sure if I want to give the direct link the album of cards I have for sale on my personal facebook page, just because I am protective of my family & friends on there. I don't have the mentality right now to set up a store envy shop, like that of etsy. Hmm, maybe I should set up a facebook page just for my cards OR set up one for my blog and cards? What do you guys think?

Other than that, not much to report. I do have a vlog to share about some small moments that I've experienced last month that have had a positive affect on my life.

What small but impact-ful moments have you experienced lately?

p.s. Grey's & Parenthood premiers tonight!!!!! A friend is coming over tonight to watch grey's with me! Anyone else excited? Wanna meet tomorrow for a re-cap? Yes, let's do.
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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

sunday style

I've got a new friend to be featured on sunday style! Welcome, Amanda! I am excited to debut her first outfit appearance on the blog!

She took a photo on her phone and posted it to instagram, i think, then onto facebook and titled the photo: "Yeah...we are adorable and we know it."
oops, my bra strap is showing!

hahaha yehhhhhh...
Amanda was sparkling this past sunday. She had such a cute outfit of earth tones with perfect accessories to match. Her skirt is sassy and something I'd totally wear.

I wore a new dress-that-has-been-hanging-in-my-closet-for-months. I got it back in the springtime when E-shakti was giving coupon codes to some of my favorite bloggers and us readers got to use those codes for lots of savings! That is the only i could afford one of their retro beauties!

 I love having wonderful friends and being able to share secrets (& keep them) and talk about all things girly!
 I guess I shoulda wrote down her outfit details. next time.

My outfit:
dress// eshakti
watch// some online boutique
earrings// gifted from a friend
clutch// yard sale

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Monday, September 23, 2013

weekend news

Happy Fall!
This is my favorite season EVER! Yesterday was the official first day of autumn. It only got to a high of 94 yesterday, which in AZ, is cooler. It was so lovely outside yesterday!

So over the weekend, I went to Rubio's for lunch with my mom. We had a great time chit-chatting too. We were kinda bummed because they (rubio's) changed their recipe for the tortilla chips. Oh well. #firstworldprobs Shouldn't complain too much. They were still yummy.

While we were waiting for our ride, we sat outside at the coffee bean and let the cool misters hit us. I thought that would be a cool shot to grab, so we did. I also tried their pomegranate blueberry ice blended drink, pretty tasty.

I also went to church with my new gal pal Amanda. She is awesome. She is funny. We just click and get along really well. I told her she is an answer to a prayer, which I won't divulge  (i think that's how I am meaning to use that word) how and why. Look for more photos tomorrow of our outfits!

Today was productive after 12 noon. I have been awake for at least 2 hours in the early morning for the past two nights, so I was quite sleepy this morning and fell asleep in my chair! lol. After I woke up, made a phone call, and then started working on making some cards to build up my "inventory". After tomorrow, I'll start making some holiday cards...definitely Christmas and maybe a few Halloween cards since I do have some fun paper for that holiday.

Oh and today was a HAPPY MAIL DAY thanks to my aunt sharon! She sent me some super cute Christmas embellishments! I can't wait to use them. Yes, that is her business card above :) She is a consultant for Arbonne. She sent me a translucent powder that I am excited to try.

How was your weekend? How was the start to your Fall?
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Friday, September 20, 2013

cozy comfortable

Happy Friday everyone!
What are you up to this weekend?

Getting back into the swing of things for blogtember, today's topic is:  
React to this term: comfort. 

I find comfort in receiving warm hugs, especially from my nana.
in laying down in my bed after sitting for more than 10 hours a day.
in sipping on chocolate chip fraps.
in listening to songs that flow through my soul.
in reading a good book that keeps my attention.
in writing a letter to a dear friend or family member.
in eating turkey bacon and scrambled eggs/omelets for breakfast.
in having my toes cut short and polished.
in holding a baby or small child in my arms & comforting them.
in going for strolls around the neighborhood when the temperature is in the 70-80's.
in seeing a hummingbird or bird pop by my bedroom window.
in making tamales as a family in an assembly line. (haven't done this in 5 years!)
in laughing at life's absurdities.
in praying.

And although I find comfort in all of these things, to be able to know comfort, you have to know being uncomfortable. Some things that make me uncomfortable are physical pain, getting weird vibes from people, sirens, yelling and fighting.

In another way, it's good for me to step outside my comfort zone and push myself to do things that I might be scared or unmotivated to do: like go up in front of everyone at church (not knowing that many people) and bear my testimony. Haha, yep, I sure did that a few weeks ago.  I also am needing to get back into exercising, the best i can, with the movement & ability i have, now. Someone ask me next monday if I done that yet, so you can help me stay accountable. please. :)

Going outside your comfort zone gives you permission to grow as a person. Sometimes, you might even bless someone else by doing so. Sometimes, you find out a part of you never even existed before.

What brings you comfort? What makes you uncomfortable? What have you done recently to step outside your comfort zone?

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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

sunday style

Howdy howdy! How's everyone's week going so far?

My week is flying by! I had part 2 of an ultrasound (pelvic) done yesterday morning (abdominals last friday). I think I've mentioned it here before, but I've been getting waves of sharp pain on my lower right abdominal area...and there are alot of organs in that area, so we are trying to pinpoint the cause of this pain. I am thankful it doesn't happen everyday. My last 'attack' was last wednesday night. I have an appointment with the gastroenterologist on Thursday. That'll be the first time ever in my life that I am seeing this kind of specialist. I just want answers and figure out what's going on.
I am taking a day off from blogtember, to bring you  another installment of Sunday Style...on a tuesday :) Paco was able to come with me to church this past sunday, so you know we took photos!

 Paco's tie is pretty rad. The colors almost matched my dress and we didn't even plan our outfits! I love being able to attend and so glad I got to meet a new girl who I get to see tomorrow in person. yay for new friends!

my outfit details:
dress// walmart for $5!
earrings// world market
lipstick// milani's hp advanced lip color in vivacious fucshia
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Monday, September 16, 2013

public love letters

blogtember for monday september 16th: Write a public love letter to someone in your life. (It doesn't necessarily need to be romantic.)

It's so hard for me to pick just one person. I love so many people. There are so many people whom I respect and am thankful for. I'll pick three lovelies, since three is one of my favorite numbers. 


Dear Mom,
You are brave. You did a grand job of raising me & alaska. I mean, I think we turned out pretty alright :) I love that you instilled in us good values, such as always striving to do good in school. Having us do chores as kids helped us to learn responsibility but also that a family and a home is a community effort. I love that we always had a pet or two or three. I sure miss Cosmo, our very first Boston Terrier. What a tyrant he was that first year! Do you remember gravel? Our turtle who we thought was a boy and really he was a girl! As kids we didn't care about germs, we let gravel crawl across our pillows all the time! I don't know if you knew that!? I think you are creative. One of my favorite memories of growing up was making homemade pizza and renting a video from Blockbuster or Video Update! I am sure we drove you crazy renting the same movies every time{the neverending story}! See, mom, you were so patient and loving, and especially all the times I was sick with my asthma. Gosh, i don't know how you handled that. To more current times, I always enjoy getting to spend time with you when we get together. I am so glad we can bond over Rubio's hehe. I also like helping you pick out shoes, because no matter what type of shoe it is, they look good on your feet. You are a great example to me of genuine love, strength and faith. You are a beautiful person inside & out. Believe it.
I love you so much,
your sweet pea

Dear Allie,
It's amazing to me God's timing. And you know how the story started and how we became friends. I am so thankful for your friendship and how we re-connected earlier this year. Your support means so much to me and SO glad that we have girl talk. It's plain fun. Just being able to talk with you via email, or text (2 a.m.) or occasional letter makes me smile.
We should definitely plan tea time! Do you like blueberry tea? I love your openness and your example to me to just keep looking & moving forward with faith. Thank you for letting me spill my guts, even those embarrassing guts, without judgement. I wish we were neighbors so that we could bake gluten-free things together.
blueberry muffin

Dear Joe,
I am sure you could use a pick me up now? Maybe? You live in the next state over, hundreds of miles away, but I think of you often. You are not that far from my mind. I don't know how you do it, your business, with the endless doctor's appointments and dealings with lawyers and paperwork. It sounds so cliche to say that you inspire me and to say that you are so strong, but really, i KNOW you are so strong, stronger than me. I am a baby when it comes to physical pain. Your sense of humor is awesome*hehe and your taste in movies and music is spot on. I like that we have the same likes in those genres and that we can relate to them...indie flicks and oldies and art. Oh your art! I know you pour your soul onto those canvases and paper. Each one is so full of life & emotion. I am glad you have that as a creative outlet. Your artistic abilities are surely a gift from God. I am glad you didn't give up. Give up on life. Give up on God. Give up on yourself. You being here, even though you're not here in Arizona, is a blessing and you are someone that I can always go to. You're a handsome fellow with a huge heart (hello, cat lover and animal rights defender!). I know there is some honest woman out there who will pair well with you. She will make your heart fuller and your life lighter.
Love you cuz,

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Friday, September 13, 2013

here's lookin at you kid

today's blogtember challenge is: self portrait

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am really honest and sometimes that gets me into trouble. Even being a loud person can get me into trouble. Maybe it's my sarcasm? I worry about what others think of me, especially my closest friends and family, but I try not to, usually in a fail. I always use two tissues at night time. When driving my wheelchair, I make wide turns. If I had millions of dollars, I would have a farm to foster and take care of rescued cats, dogs, llamas and horses. If I can help it, I don't run over ants, grasshoppers or spiders. My closet is literally called "the archives" because I own a bunch of filled photo albums, photo boxes and boxes with cards & letters from past years. My toes remind me of fat little sausage smokies. Those are good btw.

I believe in happiness. I believe in serving others and being kind. I believe in letting a few sprinkles shower you in the rain. I believe in frozen yogurt. I believe that a handwritten or typed letter is better than a text message or tweet. I believe that music can move your spirit. I believe that laughter makes life bearable in difficult times. Laughter is a form of medicine. I believe in love. that it's forever.

I believe in couponing. It's time consuming but it really does save me money. I believe in God and His son Jesus Christ. I believe in hope. Like Anne Frank, I see the best in people and believe they are really good at heart. Collecting quotes inspire me. Witnessing small, generous acts inspire me. Witnessing a loving couple show affection gives me hope. Making lists makes me feel productive. I believe in YOU.
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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

February 2006: I signed my life for the better

Tuesday, September 10: Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn.

The exact date was February 16, 2006. This was the day I asked my mom to drive me downtown to the hospital where I had no idea that I'd be staying there for 7.5 weeks. I had no idea how much my life was going to change. Three days later, I had a tracheostomy and became ventilator dependent. 24/7. I signed the consent forms for that. My now pulmonologist said if i didn't do this procedure i would maybe live 2 more months and at that point I was already really struggling to live. My CO2 levels were extremely high. All the doctors and nurses couldn't believe how coherent I was. I wasn't ready to die. I was 23. I saw the look of fear on my mom's face. Shoot, I was scared myself. I signed my name with faith that God was going to take care of me and trusting that going to be on the vent would be for the better.

So here we are seven years later and I am ALIVE! Praise be to God. I view my life as BV (before vent)/ AV (after vent). BV, I was {very} independent. I went everywhere by myself, scooting along in my wheelchair. I was a college student. I was young, more vain, trying to "find" out who I was and fit it with the social crowd. My days were filled with homework, typing papers in the computer lab, volunteering, shopping for the next cutest shirt, and guys, guys, guys were on my mind. On the outside, it seemed I had everything together, but no, that was not reality.
19 or 20 yrs old

From 2003 to 2006, my health was surely declining. After being hospitalized with pneumonia in the Fall's of 2003 and 2004, I kept struggling to breathe and sleep. After two different sleep studies, I learned I had sleep apnea, where you stop breathing when you sleep. No wonder I was waking up so groggy and with a massive, pounding headache every.single.morning. In 2005, I started needing to use oxygen through my nose and carry a couple extra oxygen tanks in my pink backpack whenever I went out, usually to school. Gah, I felt like an elderly person.

Back to February 2006, that first week of being on the vent was horrifying. I was in ICU that first week and then got moved to the rehab floor which proved to be horrifying as well; 10 patients for one nurse most likely. A few code blues, infection in my blood, waiting 45 minutes to go pee, a mean respiratory therapist, ya know, just another day in the rehab! I had to learn how to talk with the ventilator which was scary the first few times I tried. It seemed as though a mad rush of cold air was running past my vocal chords through my mouth and nose, I couldn't control it. My vocal and throat muscles had to re-gain strength. I worked with a sweetheart of a speech therapist to get stronger and be able to eat and drink normally again, but not before I had a feeding tube (g-tube) placed in my stomach after 2 attempts!
my friend colleen and I, 2006. I was at about 70 lbs

Since learning to live & accept living with a ventilator, my independence has been slashed by 90%. I can't go anywhere alone. This fact really depresses me sometimes if I let it. I would say losing that freedom is the most life changing affect of being ventilator dependent. You would think that have a hole in your throat, breathing through a plastic trache and having tubes attached to you is worse, maybe at first, yes, but I got pretty used to it and you deal with it. Honestly, I viewed those tubes as chains that locked me down in a prison and really, it did lock me down in a mental prison of depression. I had/have a choice to be grateful for the ventilator and for plastic as they both have helped save my life. I may not be able to go out alone, but I am still able to live my life and do things I enjoy doing. I am still able to celebrate life's simple, funny, cherished moments and get to spend them with my amazing family and friends. I still get to praise God for the miracles He has worked in my life. My faith and the vent have enabled me to keep living seven years and hopefully more, later.

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