two lemons

You know the pain I talked about last month, well life has been definitely handing me more lemons.
A few weeks ago, I had an accident with my roommate and unfortunately, my left foot got badly sprained. With it being just over three weeks since the accident, my foot is only about 30% healed, which is obviously not as quick as my doctor or I would like, but it is feeling alot better than that first week!!

Ice + elevation, just what the doctor ordered!

It was a Tuesday, just after 2 pm when the accident happened. I was in my doorway (in my wheelchair) and my roommate drove toward me and stopped, then proceeded to lean forward to hand me something. Well, somehow something hit her joystick box and her chair zoomed in toward my chair. Her chair kept going forward into my chair causing my footrest to bend up (close) which my feet were on and my left foot was bending backwards (also for those that don't know my ankles and feet on turned more on their side since I was a teenager but have turned more as I've gotten older)..so it's turned on its side and bending backward!! When I realized that the footplate was closing and my foot was getting crushed, I tried to drive my chair backwards back into my room, but my left wheel was stuck in the doorway, so I was trapped. When my roommate realized what was happening and that her chair was un-purposely driving into me, she got control of it and drove back away. This all happened so fast.

8.16, my feet have mild swelling already, but the left is def more!

 

 

I was hysterical! I was screaming, heaving, crying, wailing at the pain my foot was in. As I was in that state, it caught my attention that I wasn't breathing well, so I tried to concentrate on taking slow deep breaths, exhaling out the pain in ooOooOo's. My poor foot spasmed heavily on its own due to the trauma that just occurred. Both of my caregivers and also nurse on duty gathered at the scene. I drove back into my room and my nurse went and got me a bag of ice and then went to call my primary doctor. We put the ice on my foot, which said ice pretty much never left my foot until last week as it wasn't even helping anymore with the swelling. It's over three weeks later and my foot is STILL swollen and feeling numb at times. Within two hours I was getting an x-ray of my foot. The x-ray tech is an awesome one and he worked his portable machine around my injured foot. Thankfully, no bones were broken but my foot was definitely injured.

Since last tuesday, Ive been putting an Ace wrap bandage around my foot/ankle per my doctor's suggestion. My foot does feel better with that on for sure. I just gotta  keep being more patient with that healing on top of my other parts of my body hurting. Funny note, I had to take off my toe ring from the continue swelling. My toe tells me it feels naked.

prepped for the MRI. three times a charm for pokes

On August 25th, I went to the hospital to get an MRI of my back to figure out what may be causing the pain in my body. While there, my right arm got injured! I specualate that my arm fell down a bit off my chest from how the nurses placed my arms, and probably hit the machine as I was coming out of the tube. I was under general anesthesia because:

1. my body is severly contracted due to my disease
2. the scan was over 2 hours and you have to be still the whole time plus I am slightly claustrophobic

My caregiver that was with me was not allowed in the room with me so she couldn't see if an accident happened. There was a small window in the door that she could see me through, but the angle that the machine was there was no way she could see me going in or out of the tube. As I was waking up from the anesthesia, my right arm and back were KILLING me! I was screaming and crying so much. Thankfully soon, one of the MRI techs came to help lift me from the flattened bed (no good)and placed me bac into my wheelchair. It took me like 15 minutes to open and stretch my arm to be able todrive my wheelchair! My overseeing nurse there thought that my arm was just really stiff from being in the same position for over two hours, but I knew it wasn't that. something was wrong. I just couldn't believe how much pain I wsa in. My caregiver asked if I could take my pain pills (that I had brought crushed in yogurt with me)...but I needed to wake up more from the anesthesia. I sure did and took them, but my pain was so bad that they didn't help much at all. My nurse said that if I EVER needed another MRI that we'd have to get a doctor's order to give me morphine in the "recovery" stage after the amount of pain she witnessed in me.

After calming down and being able to drive as best I could,we strolled over to the cafeteria for some food and drink. I hadn't been able to eat or drink anything since midnight the night before and I went in for my scan around 2pm. All I new was that i was:
IN PAIN
SO HUNGRY
SO THIRSTY
MY HEAD WAS POUNDING (but that was a side effect of the anesthesia)

Later, my caregiver noticed a bad bruise on my lower right arm at my elbow. That bruise is going away, but another bruise popped up on my right bicep (the area that deeply hurts) on sunday (8/31) while another one of my caregivers was bathing me. We thought maybe it showed up because the swelling went down a bit. I had an x-ray taken on tuesday (9/2) and no broken bones but there must be pulled muscle or torn tendon and the only way to check for that is a CT scan or MRI. Adter I found that out I was like HECK NO! I am NOT going through another MRI. Who knows, my arm could just be really sprained.

I thought by this weekend that I'd be able to do my makeup but that's not gonna happen. I have SUCH wonderful friends who will do my makeup for me, for special occasions like for church or a meet-up with friends and also who will pluck your eyebrows!

To give you an idea of how bad my arm is, here are some major things I cannot do yet: feed myself with my right arm ( i am right handed), cut tougher food, brush my teeth, wash my face, mail a letter (putting the red flag up), checking the mail, putting my breathing treatments on, or plugging my phone in to charge. This whole situation has brought to mind Bethany Hamilton. I know my dilemma is NO where near her reality, but I am basically using one arm, my left, and it's a challenge indeed. Even I, who am disabled, took for granted the things I CAN or could do and I can't wait to get back my abilities!

By God's good grace and many sweet prayers from friends and family, I've been healing even if it's slowly. I can definitely move my arm a bit more (why I am finally able to blog a bit.)

I cannot wait for my follow-up appointment with my nuerologist about my MRI results. The appointment is not til September 29th! I am so bummed that it's still weeks away but that was the first available appointment. Honestly, it's gonna be a long month. I know because of the reasons. I've been praying so hard for relief from the pain I am in daily. I truly sympathize with those who may be going through something similar. pain is pain and everyone tolerates pain differently or more or less. I am definitely on the low tolerance side.

I can tell you that it's draining. This is a difficult period in my life. no doubt. My physical health is not well, but I am feeling encouraged and uplifted spiritually and I am so thankful for that. Without it, I'd be lost and in more distress.

weary.

My blog is like a body, and this body is skin & bones.

Time to get some meat on these bones! Yeh, yeh, you know I miss blogging. I really do.

I almost feel overwhelmed at where to start here. Ok, I AM overwhelmed on where to start because I have so much I want to catch you up on since June.

Let's start with why I haven't been blogging so much and what my life has been like this summer, especially the past few weeks.

Long story short, I am experiencing pain in my back, left arm and left leg. The pain started in April {actually at my grandpa Henry's funeral service} and has gotten worse and spread to other parts of my body (see above). I have seen my neurologist who oversees my muscle disease and he thinks this pain is nerve pain, something going on in my back and that it's a secondary result of my disease progression. He ordered an MRI of my back in June and it just got approved by my insurance last Friday, August 1st. I just found out yesterday what time the MRI will be on August 25th. I cannot wait for that day, for that next step to find out what's going on and how my doctor can better treat/manage my pain. In addition to the constant pain, both of my arms are weakening drastically that it's getting more difficult to do certain daily functions like brushing my teeth or eating a meal that requires a spoon. It's depressing, but I will not go down without a fight! When you hit bottom, more than once, the only way to go is up and forward.

I am so tired guys. I am tired of being in pain every.single.day. I am tired of dealing with it. I am tired of feeling frustrated to the point I cry. I am tired of getting anxious. I am tired of feeling defeated. I am tired of feeling judged for taking the medications that I need to. I am tired of feeling or at least thinking, that my body is dwindling. That my disease is progressing MORE as I type this. That maybe the things I hope to happen in my future, wont, while I am alive on this Earth. I am tired of being tired. I am so weary.

Isaiah 40:31

"..but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint."

However, I fight back. every day. I fight back with prayer. with reading my scriptures. with doing something nice for someone else. I fight back with adding humor in my life by watching re-runs of King of Queens or the Cosby Show. Ok. Peanut M&M's might enhance my negative fighting ninja skills. I am lifted up with frequent encouragement from my mom + friends.
I fight back with positive thoughts. I feed myself with affirmations such as:

I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am a daughter of God.

(feel free to use this mantra for yourself)

I repeat it. over and over til I start to hear those words of life. until I start to believe them myself. to tap into that wellspring of restoration and hope.

I fight back by crying and sometimes, literally crying out to God that I need His help. If my troubles can't be swept away, then at least for comfort & strength that I can keep enduring what I need to. It's all either for my own good or for others around me to benefit from,boost up OR maybe it's a combination of both, but my life is of worth. My life, with its trials, are for God's glory. He has chosen me. He has chosen you. When I remember that, I am re-grounded. I truly appreciate my imperfect body, my imperfect life. I am given unique qualities that help build up the kingdom of God, just as you do too. I am eternally grateful for Jesus Christ, my Savior. Because of Him, I know that I can overcome my problems, not just my physical ones.

There is always hope. I see that, time and time again. Hope is such a beautiful thing. The following scriptures also come to mind:

Ether 12: 4, 6
"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

Blogging helps me. Reaching out to others helps me. Being part of community helps me, such as the blogging community, community on instagram and my church community. Thank you for being who you are and for embracing me.

Through the mess, I weed out the bad and find the good. the good little golden nuggets that shine bright, that help lead me home.

a not so graceful day

It's obvious that I haven't posted anything in two weeks. Frankly, this season in my life has been a difficult one. My emotions have been running high, my body in physical pain, my brain becoming exhausted and spiritually I am fighting against negative forces. I've been feeling like Satan has been attacking me, trying to sway me off the faithful path the past couple months, especially that past six weeks. He's trying to get me while I am most vulnerable and weak, but he will not succeed! I've received three priesthood blessings that have helped me to endure and give me comfort in my trying times.

My left leg has been hurting me bad the past seven weeks and it only seems to be getting worse. I get spasms, throbbing or sharp shooting pain. Now my back has been giving me grief for a week now. Some days are more trying while others are not so bad, but my pain tolerance is low, very low. I've been taking pain medication and my primary doctor prescribed me a low dose of baclofen, a muscle relaxer, but that doesn't seem to be helping much and I need the dosage increased to 20mg because that's the usual norm prescribed. This doctor doesn't really know much about my muscle disease, so I can't blame. I just can't wait to get to see my neurologist on Monday June 9th. He oversees my SMA (spinal muscle atrophy) and I know he will know how to better manage my pain and help me better.

On tuesday of this week, I had a not-so-graceful-day. The first part of my day was going great. I babysat little P. for a couple hours or so. I took with her with me to the pharmacy with my friend James. She behaves so well and is so helpful. While we were out at the store, she helped me pick out items that I couldn't reach. This is her nature: so sweet, so willing to help and so full of love. She randomly tells me all the time that I am her best friend. The sweetest! She begged me the day before to play games on my laptop, but we ran out of time. I told her she could the next day (tuesday). Later in the afternoon, I set up her games on NickJr.com for her to play Paw Patrol and happily she was content for a while. I went in the living room and watched netflix with my roommate sherri. Little P. kept calling me for asking for help because the screen would freeze on my laptop or somehow she clicked out of the game, etc. I started to get irritated and around the same time, my leg started flaring up. I know it's no excuse, my pain, but I raised my voice at little P. and I found myself getting mad at her for "bothering" me with needing help with her game. Poor thing, she just needed help. She wasn't doing anything wrong. Later, I snapped at James and he was only trying to help me (though I didn't want or need his help). I apologized to James for being snappy. He said he didn't even notice! lol. What a great friend he is to me.

I was getting frustrated because mostly because I was in pain, and even though sometimes I am physically tired from the muscle relaxer, I am and was more tired of hurting and dealing with this every. single. day. It's all taxing. This was the start of an emotional breakdown later that evening as I lay in bed staring at my popcorn paint ceiling. So many negative thoughts flooded my mind, but i combatted them with positive ones, telling myself:

"Brittany, this pain will not last forever.
"this too shall pass."
"God is with you. You're not alone. You have such a great support system. You have your family and amazing friends who love and support you."
"I am weak right now, needing help, but in Christ you are made strong."

I prayed and pleaded with God to help me. to give me strength. I said, "God, I need you. I cannot do this alone. There is no way. I need your help. Please be with me."

I tried to fight the tears, but they came anyway. I am glad. I need to get over this, "crying is shameful."

It's ok to be down. It's ok to feel sad and overwhelmed and frustrated.

I realized that I am gifted with grace through my Savior.
From 2 Corinthians 12:9, And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." How much this verse speaks to me!

He perfects me little by little. I am not perfect by any means. I mean, see how I reacted on tuesday.

I started reading this article called, "Those who are all different" by Elder Marlin K. Jensen from the August 2010 Ensign. I read the first page, and BAM! The tears started rollin, my heart was partially broken and yet, uplifted. It made me think about my life and how my muscle disease is getting worse as I type this. It made me think about how much tougher my life has been the past two months, but also the challenges that lie ahead. I thought about God's plan for my life and how my little life is part of his divine, great plan. In comparison, no doubt, I would gladly take these burdens rather than a child or young adult. I KNOW I would. Things may be hard, but I know I can endure them with the help of my heavenly father and through these struggles, I can see how my compassion and empathy will increase and that is a gift. Maybe I will discover my strength? Maybe I'll become more brave and more strong in my faith. I always love growing closer to my God and I think he loves that too. I know He loves me. His love and mercy is greater than any burden I may carry.

5 little confessions

I feel like I want to bust of a box that I've been confined to
for a week now...and one way I can do that i typing up this fun blog post and linking up with Jacque and friends!

I think link-ups are pretty fun. not so serious. I've been too serious lately. Time for a little fun. I always enjoy reading other people's posts like these that give what seem like random details into their lives...stalker-ish much? ok, you do too?! great! :)

There's no set theme for my five little confessions, so here ya go:

1. I've been sick with respiratory problems for over a week. There's been lots of extra albuterol breathing treatments and naps. Last night I took my last dose of prednisone (steroid and tastes gross!).  I go back to see my pulmonologist tomorrow to make sure I am A-Ok. I am feeling better but not quite 100%. The many thoughtful prayers I've had on my behalf and priesthood blessings I've received are helping me. This past weekend I felt like I had an epiphany spiritually and I think that's helped my health overall, because being stuck inside has lead me to think of myself as the bubble girl.

2. The House Bunny, The Vow, Full House, Criminal Minds, Hart of Dixie and The Backup Plan have been seen this past week. *guilty mindless indulgences*. I just love Anna Farris. I don't watch much tv, but since being sick, I've watched more than usual.

3. I know over ten people who are graduating this month! From Kindergarten to Medical School. I want to give everyone a gift but I can't afford it, so a nice card will have to do.

4. I am planning to enroll through ASU online and take a class by August. I am quite excited to start school again (been out for 4 years) and work toward my bachelor's degree.

5. I can only drink organic milk. I did an experiment with different milks about three years ago. Soy, Lactose free, almond and it wasn't all fun.They all gave me stomach cramps and diarrhea! My stomach doesnt agree with regular milk. I am thankful my body can handle organic milk because I LOVE chocolate milk or strawberry milk (thanks Nestle Nesquik!) and I sometimes crave cold cereal. Mmm, multi-grain cheerios, fruity pebbles, honey bunches of oats or good ol corn flakes.

mmm chocolate milk

* no Nestle or cereal companies did not pay me to say the above. just my own opinion!

what are your favorite cereals? Have you seen any good movies or shows lately?

Ta-Da!

DO you love my new blog design!?
I sure do!! It's been in the works for a couple of weeks now as I've communicated back and forth between my designer/blogger, Sabrina Dellinger of Hey Sabrina Faith. I definitely wanted a simpler, cleaner look and that's what got delivered! Yay! I love the color yellow and well, black is a fave too, so those had to be there! Sabrina was an absolute joy to work with! She was so patient with me and assured me that she wanted me to be picky if I didn't like something. I feel like this new design represents me better now, as I've grown and experienced so much good things this past year. It was time to be out with the old and in with the new. I wanted something bold, but sophisticated. Serious, but fun and with pops of color!

oldie but goodie

Sabrina's rates are {very} reasonable, especially considering the time & talent she dedicates to making sure you love your new design. If any of you want a new design for your blog now, or sometime this year, check out her packages and things she offers, like a cover for your facebook or etsy shop? and see her previous work too.

So yeh, this is the BIG REVEAL and Sunny Tales & Happy Mail is new & improved and here to stay for the foreseeable future! Thank you Sabrina for the new look! And thank you, my readers, for supporting me and my blog and for all the love you give me every time I post.

One of my goals for this blog since the beginning is to be a source of inspiration. A place that you feel hope or happiness and maybe have a smile on your face after you close the tab and go on with your daily life. Even though I do share struggles in my life, I don't think I portray myself to be a debbie downer nor can anyone expect happy, pretty posts all the time. No one's life is like that, for real. And Brittany likes to keep things real here. We all go through trials. We all have uncooperative hair days, food in our teeth, cars breaking down (in my case, my wheelchair), or physical ailments, but we can choose to be happy as we realize the good. The blessings we do have measure far more than that particular struggle or negative thing in our life at any given time. Let's get through it together. Thanks for being awesome people! Chat soon!

Five on Friday// 02

What a week! It wasn't so great in the productive department and my poor little blog has suffered because of it. Sleep for me this past week has been terrible and not to sound like I am complaining (that's what naps are for), it's just really affected my days. I had great feedback from the last Five on Friday that I've decided we'll give it another go! :)

One. I've ordered some things from pretty places like Nordstrom's and Fifth and Mae, which packages have arrived this week. Good news is that something I ordered from Nordie's doesn't fit me well, so that's going to be something I'll be giving away in March! Now, fifth and mae. IF you haven't heard of the website, it's super cute and you should visit. They have super cute jewelry that is way affordable. Do you love my new ring? I sure do since I am an instagram fanatic now! I got this baby from a flash sale! It's good to be friends on facebook with companies!

Two. All this hashtag biz reminds me of that funny video with Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake, which video can be number two because i love it.

#ilovehashtags #letmeseeyouhashtag #canigetahashtag


Three. Went to lunch with my dear amanda on wednesday. we enjoyed cheeseburgers at johnny rockets. we had fun while waiting for our food. then did a lil shoppin! Can't wait to wear my new dress. It's a bit more dressy for church. It was nice to spend time with amanda since she's been quite busy finishing up school and did so before she went out of town to visit her family.

FOUR. people that are bipolar are interesting. I have a good friend that struggles with it at times. He can be quite entertaining and can also entertain himself, yet at times needs to be entertained. I worry about him often, but overall, he's got it under control. I feel bad when he spirals out of the loop, and can't imagine living with a mental disorder like that. I pray his spirit to be strong and for anyone who deals with this or any other mental or behavioral issues( i sometimes struggle with anxiety & take a low dose med for depression), I hope you never feel alone, because you are not. And there's nothing to be ashamed about.

FIVE. I was a victim of a drive by hello an hour ago. this person reads my blog, so i should tell him that I bought him a surprise, which is chewy, sweet and in the shape of an animal. Also, James, my P.I.C,  and I were almost gone with the wind...meaning, AZ is expecting a storm and rain tonight and all day tomorrow. We sure could use it.

Goodnight all. I am about to go watch The Spectacular Now. Redbox was out of alot of movies and the two that James and I had originally picked out. Oh well, snacks here I come.

out to dinner, blog designer news + [giveaway!]

Hey Friends! Happy Tuesday! We got a little bit about a bunch of nothin' goin' on ova here!

I ventured out last night to the Outback to celebrate my roommate Sherri's birthday! It was a fun dinner and a treat.

I've never been to the Outback, and while the food was pretty good, the customer service was even better! Our waitress was so helpful and brought me two Styrofoam cups for my soda and water each, since the glasses she originally brought them in were way too heavy for me.  Plus, the lady (probably manager) who seated us, re-arranged the tables so I could better fit under with my wheelchair.

I got a chicken sandwich with buffalo sauce, asparagus and "aussie" fries, which were basically seasoned fries. Tasty!

hmm, what else? I have a few awesome posts in the works and two of them you won't want to miss. They'll be appearing on the blog in the next couple of weeks! hint hint! free, girly stuff! ;)

I've been going crazyyy on instagram. I love it. Find me at: btrevino3. Oh and I decided on my designer for my new blog design!! It's Sabrina Dellinger of Hey Sabrina Faith. This girl is sassy, so creative and just a sweetheart. I am SO excited to get the process started. I just need to browse blogland and pick a few blogs that give me inspiration.

Oh yeh, I am featured today over at Life with a side of coffee!! Woot woot! Christine is one of the best bloggers I have EVER worked with! She makes me and my blog look good! ;) anddddd....just yesterday, she posted her group giveaway which yours truly is participating in, so you can enter over there or enter here below in the rafflecopter!

Up for grabs is ad space (muy excelente if you have a blog!), starbucks money and a super cute candle! Good prizes to be won if you ask me!

**********************

Eat, Drink and Be Mary - $10 Starbucks

Sunny Tails, Happy Mail - $5 Starbucks

Lifeology - Arrow & Twine Candle

Life With A Side Of Coffee - $5 Starbucks and 1 month Medium Ad Space

a Rafflecopter giveaway

life lately

Wow, what a week! You guys, I've seriously been so out of it and so tired since last wednesday when I went in for the cat scan! I don't know what has happened to me. I've been sleeping worse than normal and so, I've taken a nap every day since wednesday, except for sunday. I haven't heard anything about the ct scan results either. We called my dr's office today and just waiting to hear back from them.

So let's catch up. Over the weekend, i watched general conference online. I was inspired and took many pages of notes in my little handy dandy notebook. A few of my favorite quotes that I hope I wrote in my notes correctly, are:

"Don't forget to look up."---Adrian Ochoa

"The Savior is always near, especially in times of need."---Terence M. Vinson

"By Christ's love we are able to change."---Ulisses Soares

I've sucked at taking pictures this week which has been eventful. Look above. The flash didn't come up. Oh well.
I got to hang out with Paco on monday night.
I got to visit with HL on tuesday. She brought me wendy's! yum. It was nice to talk with her about what's been going on in our lives.
I got to go to the movies with Elisa yesterday. We went to see the Butler. It was a pretty good movie, definitely historical. The movie made me teary eyed a couple of times. There were quite alot of well-known actors in the movie, like Jane Fonda and Mariah Carey.

And tonight, well, I'll be watching Grey's and Scandal!

I also found out from Eshakti that I have a special promo code for you to use. If you're a new customer and use my promo code:BRITTANY4ZHR, you'll get $30 off your first purchase! That'll surely help with any pretty item you may choose to update your fall wardrobe. The code is valid until November 30, 2013! And just to let you know, if you do use my promo code, I'll get a sweet $15 credit. It's a win-win for both of us! :)

I've got a serious, but substance-filled post on women's perspective of body in the works, so stay tuned. Hope your week has been blessed. I was reminded today that God DOES hear our prayers, answers them in His great timing.
Until next time...

adventures of a cat scan

I think I mentioned before how I've been getting sharp waves of pain near my stomach, right? It's been happening off and on for months now. Thank God it doesn't happen every day! It's been three weeks since I've had a painful "attack". Yay! I went to see a gastroenterologist a couple weeks and figured the pain I am experiencing could be:

1. kidney stone
2.inflammation of intestines
3.muscle spasms

With that, he didn't want to put me through a colonoscopy, YAY again! Thank you Dr! And he just didn't want to put me on another medication to help with the possible spasms, so he said let's do a Cat Scan first and go from there.

The CT scan was scheduled at 8:30 this morning, but not without alot of prepapartion. I received two bottles of berry smoothie contrast, in which, I drank one bottle last night and then half of the 2nd bottle an hour before the scan and the 2nd half of the bottle 30 minutes before the scan.

 

The contrast itself didn't taste as bad as I thought. It says it's berry flavor, but it taste more like grape. Here's a photo for your entertainment of me drinking the first sip of the first bottle last night.

ha, yeh my face says it all

Before we left this morning, I made a short video:

 

 I totally chose the thumbnail above to make you laugh and make fun of myself.

 The consistency and taste got to me, especially once I started the second bottle this morning, it was just making me feel sick. I kept telling myself, "mind over matter, mind over matter" and singing, "you are my sunshine" to myself while I was slurping it up and also later this morning when my nurse at the hospital was trying to get an IV started. I needed the IV to draw blood, but also give me meds for conscious sedation. I can't physically lay flat on hard surfaces or the flat beds that they use to zoom you into the machines for the scans. It hurts my body since my limbs and back are contracted and don't stretch out straight whatsoever.

While she was running the ultrasound over my arms to spot a good vein, I asked her, "does this contrast make you get diahhrea?

She said, "No, actually it can make people constipated."

I laughed, "Well i think I am getting diahrrea. my stomach does not feel good at all. I am gonna need to go potty before the scan."

She said, "ok. wow. Yeh, usually people get constipated, but you are the exeption to the rule, which I am sure that's how it's been for you your  life."

Pretty much true.

My nurse was such a sweetheart and so helpful and caring. She got some two guys to help her and Katie lift me from my chair to the toilet, which was interesting, but we did it! My nurse asked one of the guy techs if this contrast made people get diahhrea and he said, "yes, the kind she had to drink for her kind of scan!" 

Ohhhh! hahahahha. You guys, it was terrible. I am thankful I didn't go on myself because all I had were the pajamas I came in. While waiting to go potty, we snapped a few photos before the scan, prepped and ready to go.

On the way to the scan, I had two respiratory therapists with me because they were going to have to amboo bag me during the scan itself. I guess, per hospital policy, I couldn't be on my vent, and maybe too because of the magnetics. The RT's did a fabulous job amboo bagging me. I wasn't nervous at all breathing wise. The scan itself went smoothly. My nurse I had to prep me was there and then all three of them, along with Katie, walked with to the recovery unit. While I was there, I had to switch to the hospital's vent, which breaths much different than my vent. It was a bit difficult to breathe along with it. As i go to exhale, there's like a wave that suddenly stops and then pops and I feel it in my chest. It's hard to describe. Thankfully, my sats (oxygen level on room air) was just dandy, in its normal range of mid-90's.

Overall, the morning went well with little problems, except, the unexpected diarreah! I had a great time of people working with me to make getting this scan a success.

While Katie and I were waiitng for transportation, we were thinking about eating and what to eat, because we were so hungry! We finally got back home just before noon and she went and got us lunch. Oh it was so yummy. Shortly after eating, I tilted my chair back, got pillows and a blanket and took a nap until 3:30 this afternoon. I was and am so tired.

Next, just wait for my gastro dr's office to call to follow up with me and see what the results show. I just can't wait to figure out where and why these pains are happening!

What a day! I am feeling a bit better and think I'll be knocking out before 9! Man, i feel like an old person! I just can't hang like I used to! haha I just may have to catch tonight's episode of Revolution online later.

What time do you go to bed? If you fall asleep before a certain time, do you too, feel like an elderly person? Have you ever had to drink berry contrast for a ct scan? What did you think?

 

help wanted & a vlog

what a past few days this has been. I've been productive people! yay! I re-started making cards and it felt good to have glue and ink all over my fingers. I am planning to start making Halloween and Christmas cards in this next week! Christmas cards are always the highest in demand from my family & friends. I am so thankful for their support. Because of them, i am able to make a bit of money, which is quite helpful.

I am thinking that maybe i can display some cards I've made on the blog & then if any of you are interested in buying one, you could just leave me a comment and then I'll email you? I am not sure if I want to give the direct link the album of cards I have for sale on my personal facebook page, just because I am protective of my family & friends on there. I don't have the mentality right now to set up a store envy shop, like that of etsy. Hmm, maybe I should set up a facebook page just for my cards OR set up one for my blog and cards? What do you guys think?

Other than that, not much to report. I do have a vlog to share about some small moments that I've experienced last month that have had a positive affect on my life.

What small but impact-ful moments have you experienced lately?

p.s. Grey's & Parenthood premiers tonight!!!!! A friend is coming over tonight to watch grey's with me! Anyone else excited? Wanna meet tomorrow for a re-cap? Yes, let's do.

the story of a bird that flew into my life

Yesterday started out as a typical day. Nothing too crazy going on. I had my plans, which consisted of making some cards for a couple people as well as typing up a blog post.

I had a lingering migraine since early morning and so after breakfast, I took an aleve, came back to my room to take a little nap waiting for my migraine to go away. Around 1130 A.M. I started getting to work. After the kids and I cleaned up our mess, little P and I went to get the mail around 2 p.m.

Since there was been rainfall some nights in the past week, there are muddy puddles near our mailbox. So as we are approaching, I see a bird stuck in the mud! The closer I got to it, I could tell that it was injured and probably got ran over a bit because he/she was still alive, barely breathing. My eyes began to tear up as I thought how I could him/her. Little P and I came back to the house, which Little P yelled, "Tia, Tia, can you help us!? There's a little bird stuck in the mud outside."

Actually, Little P's mom, Maria, went out and picked up the bird for me. She brought it in and washed off the mud in the bathroom sink (she totally put gloves on and is recommended if you are ever wanting to help a fallen bird.) Anyways, after that she wrapped him up in a paper towel and handed him to me. I held him close to my chest and examined him.

His right wing was injured as there was a pink bald, burned looking spot, where there should have been feathers. The very front of his beak looked chipped as he/she was also bleeding more inward there. His right eye was totally closed the entire time I "watched" him and he/she would sometimes open their left eye. The top of their head was also burned/bald looking.

Oh our hearts just dropped for this baby. I have no idea how old this bird may have been, but he/she was very lightweight. In reality I know there wasn't much I could do to help him/her, but there was just no way I could leave him/her outside stuck in the mud to burn to death in the sun and heat beating down on them.

I made a MAJOR mistake of giving it water to drink. I learned this after I googled "how to help an injured bird."

You may think you are hydrating them, helping them of thirst but no. Actually "forcing" water into them, well that water can go straight to their lungs :( :( double sad face. this is because at the very back of their beak, the liquid goes straight to their lungs.

The other mistake I did was while still in the paper towel, I set him on a towel, thinking it would be softer and more comfortable. Wrong again. The information I found said to get a shoebox size (open) and place several tissues inside to help the bird feel like it's in a nest. So we did that. Plus, an injured bird needs silence and darkness.

Little P and I both prayed and prayed for this little bird.
However, as a few hours passed, I could tell the bird was declining. His breaths were more shallow and he was bleeding more.

James came in my room to discover our friend. We talked about what to do. It just made more sense to help ease the transition of life to death for this baby who was suffering. I told James there is no way I can do it. I can't physically hurt him, run him over, etc. We thought, it's more humane this way, right, as difficult as it was?

James took the box outside and waited, because  1. it was beginning to smell 2. birds do have diseases, bugs, etc. not the most sanitary thing.
James mustered the courage to help this bird along to birdie heaven if there is one.

We said our goodbyes.

Some people might laugh at this story and think, pshh it's just a dirty bird. There are thousands of them everywhere, what's the loss of one?

But this bird to me was special. He/she was hurting.
They were an innocent living thing that was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
This bird was one of God's precious creatures.
The bird symbolized life to me as well as being sensitive to life itself, even if that's in the form of a brown, cream and black bird.

I loved you, even for your last few hours.
I hope I helped you feel somewhat comforted.

chop chop karate chop

It all started with Groupon.

You know I love to save money and get good deals, so groupon is a great site that allows me to do such things. Well, maybe at the end of June or early July, they had a deal for at Toni & Guy, the pricey-to-me hair salon. The deal was a cut, style & deep-conditioning treatment for $29, valued at $70!

I had the tab opened on my laptop for two days debating on whether or not I should splurge on such a thing for myself. I justified the desicion by telling myself, "well yeh, you have spent $30 on a gel manicure, so why not do this that will last much longer!" SO I clicked purchase. I've been wanting to cut my hair differently for quite some time. I was getting tired of my long, heavy hair as well as wearing it the same way as a messy top bun ya know.

Last week, I called the make an appointment for friday. James came along with me and we got there about 20 minutes early. My hair stylist was Yvonne and she did a great job. I was sort of nervous to chop off so much, but I had confidence in these professionals!

I showed Yvonne a magazine with a couple photos of hairstyles I liked and we both agreed to not go super short otherwise it would enhance my full face.

Here's the wavy mop I started out with, the chunks of hair on the floor and the finale.
Sorry for the not the best quality photos, I forgot my camera and took these with my cell phone. My hair feels so much lighter and I like it alot, especially when styled and teased and pouffed!

a la hairspray!

I am happy with my purchase! Oh and when Yvonne was doing the final touches of my hair, I saw James in the mirror, wiping his eyes. He was tearing up because he said it looked so good! hahah. What a friend! :)

Have you ever made a drastic hair cut? Are you signed up with Groupon? What was your best deal you scored?

what I wore: printed jersey dress + red lips

here we are! another wednesday in the books. This time next week will be the third day of July! My oh my, where is the time going!?

I am SO looking forward to these next couple of weeks because lots is happening on my social calendar: getting to hang out with...

Paco on friday.
Mum on saturday.
C on sunday.
Gparents wednesDAY & paco again wed night.
Tessa & andy (hopefully on thursday--JULY 4th!)
...and then I have a seating evaluation for a new shower chair on friday the 5th.

phew!

I am relieved that I'm seeing my primary doctor today because I've been having slight trouble with breathing. I've been attached to my svn machine unusually more frequent...it's been saline, saline, saline over here! The dry air (here in AZ there's like no humidity) has affected me negatively. My upper chest feels bruised again :( So can't wait to meet with him and talk about a couple issues.

I must give lots of applause to my grandpa M for taking photos for me for these sometimes wednesday what i wore posts! I told him today, dang grandpa, you're a photographer!

Oh and I am thrilled to also be featured today on Southern Beauty Guide! come on over and visit me there if you'd like and say Hi to chelsee and her other friends :)

How is your week going? staying cool?

dress: downeast basics
earrings: oldnavy
sunnies: charlotte russe
watch: i forgot where.
lipstick: MAC 'lady danger'

over the weekend

I now realize that my post title could very well be taken in two different ways:

#1. I am SO over the weekend (connotating that i had a bad weekend)
#2. This is what happened over the weekend (connotating this is what happened/i did/how my weekend went)

you know I mean #2 right? haha

so over the weekend I was lazy, social and productive!

Lazily: took a two hour nap on friday for my two nights prior were blahhh! couponing, deleting tons of emails, writing a couple notes and pondering life's greatest question such as what artist next to listen to on spotify were done! These days my ears are being entertained by Imagine Dragons, Bruce Springsteen and Jimmy Eat World and The Paper Kites. Oh and thanks to my friend katie, I finally watched, Silver Linings Playbook. I gotta say that Jenn Lawrence, Brad cooper and the cast, esp "pat's" family, did a superb job acting. I really believed them. The story might be about "crazy" people, but really, we are all a little crazy. Maybe that's why it was relate-able.

Socially: I got to see and visit with my aunt josie on saturday. It was so lovely to catch up with her. I've missed her so much. An aunt is indeed a special person in your life. I am glad that we got to spend time together. A bit after she arrived, she went and picked up lunch from RUBIO'S!! Oh yum!! Me and my mom love this place! and got my aunt hooked on the blackened tilapia taco! It's near to impossible to catch up and talk about all the things you want to talk about in 3.5 hours! haha, nevertheless, I enjoyed her company.

productively: I  made some cards. I's gotts to build up my "inventory" again!
Here is one pretty that I made with my new farmers market paper pad. This card is in the official "to sell" box.

and that's about it friends. how was your weekend? what did you do or not do? :)