32 hours

The past couple months have been a rollercoaster. I have good days and crappy days. It's been one thing or another. I don't mean for this post to be negative nellie, but i'm being real. I've been having trache pain or arm pain, but I am alive and well. If I feel, it's because I am alive and for that I am thankful. God is still with me and as my mom says," He's got his angel crew around you."

 I went in to the hospital last monday for an overnight stay in ICU (when you're on the vent 24/7, you have to say in ICU). My doctor wanted to make sure I was getting proper ventilation after changing to a diff trache. I had my trache changed to a cuffless trache (without a plastic balloon attached from the inside out of the trache). My doctor believed that this extra, rough plastic could be irritating and causing more pain when I have my routine two month trache changes. After much discussion we both agreed to go ahead and give this new trache a try. 

With miscommunication between doctors, nurses, etc, I ended up having my trache changed 3 TIMES in 2 days!! CRAZY!! NEVER in my life have i had that many in such a short amount of time. While the trache site is still sore, I CAN say that this cuffless trache IS easier to get in and out versus the cuffed one. Praise God!

ouch! but my nurse K got it working with one attempt & with the smallest IV.

My 32 hour stay in the hospital went by so fast. It was busy. My good friend James went with me and stayed the night with me. He was SUCH a big help, especially when it came time for me to go potty on the bed pan which i absolutely hate! lol. Good thing he has alot of patience, because i bugged him for alot of things, like adjusting my pillows, underwear or giving me a sip of water.

I packed my pink backpack the day before with items to make me more comfortable [deodorant, toothpaste/toothbrush, mouthwash, my moisturizer, ipod, notepaper] and I sure did pack James a big bag of candy corn and some chocolate, which came into good use at 5am..NOT EVEN KIDDING!

I am already a light sleeper and between the blood pressure cuff squeezing tight my arm every 30 mins to 1 hour and my pulse ox coming loose and the machine beeping, I couldn't sleep. I heard when James would move or snore lol, my nurses or RT's checking in on me and even heard across the way a nurse yelling at a patient, "OPEN your eyes!! at 2 am! My circumstances were certainly not as bad as some of the other patients, who James said, there was a John Doe in my pod. Poor guy and how scared he must have felt.

about 11pm. about to write since i can't sleep yet.

Around 5 am, i needed more pain meds and James woke up. We both kinda took deep breaths and hoped for better sleep. Around 6, i finally fell asleep as I had been awake since 7 am! I then woke up at 7:50 as my RT, Valerie started her shift and was making her rounds. It was pretty dark in my room and still felt like 5am. I was exhausted.

My day nurse, Chuck came in too and asked if I was hungry. I said, kind of, but i needed to pee more. I really needed to pee around 4, but was too tired and lazy to really move anymore. We ordered breakfast, so i could eat something and take my morning reg meds. After eating a bit, going potty, James and I went back to sleep at 10ish, because we were all just waiting for whenever my doctor would arrive to check on me. He did at 11 am---oh good, a little more sleep!

I could go on about what happened the rest of the day, as above, needing to change my trache 2 more times, but it's a long story. I ended up not getting home til 7pm that night. I was utterly drained.

I'd just like to add that all of my nurses and Rt's were extremely kind and helpful. They "bent the rules" a bit to make me as comfortable as possible. I even had a God-connection happen as I was re-united with Sandra! I recognized her as she passed by my room. James had asked her for a blanket and I told James, hey! tell her i need to talk to her!" 

You see, Sandra was a CNA that helped me 6 years ago when I first was placed on the vent in the hospital. She was one of my favorites who really went above and beyond to comfort me when I was extremely scared and sad about my situation. 

So she came in and asked her if she remembered me. She didnt at first, but after I reminded her of how i knew her she smiled and did! I started telling her how she impacted my life then and I started to cry. After chatting a bit,we exchanged info and we now have a new pen pal!! She couldn't believe that she saw me and that I remembered her after all these years. Seeing her was such a bright spot.

My good friend Diane, a nurse, also stopped by to see me. I didn't even know, but she actually works on the floor/unit I was on! She treated us to starbucks!  Getting to see Diane was comforting because I hadn't seen in her over a year. We talked for about ten minutes before her shift started.

thank you diane for the treat!

This past week has been spent getting "caught" up on sleep and SLOWWLLYYYY  replying to emails that are backed up to three weeks! I  have about 5 people that I need to call and 5 letters that I need to respond to...one step at a time.

I miss blogging and miss you! until next time, stay well.