I'm going to tell this story for you, because many of you, my new, lovely blogger friends don't know what happened and how i came to be ventilator dependent. Writing my story again helps me to keep moving forward and being thankful for all that I have, all those who love me and who i love.
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no, this isn't a romantic anniversary. but love did win in the end. you might be thinking then, what kind of anniversary? February 16th, 2006 marks the first day of my new life. I view my life, BV (before vent)/AV (after vent). This date was the day that I went to the hospital ER and little did I know that I would remain there for another 7 weeks.
I remember that day so clearly. I was at home at my mom's house. She asked me early in the morning, around 5 before she left for work, if I was sure I was ok. I told her yes, go to work, I will call you if I feel worse. The night before that morning, she slept in the bed next to the chair that I slept. I didn't know it at the time, but I was having anxiety. Sitting up was the only way i could rest. I wore oxygen through my nose, like an elderly person with emphysema or something. 2 liters. I was exhausted as I hadn't been sleeping well (had sleep apnea and used a bi-pap machine. The cute oxygen guy whose girlfriend had a boston terrier too( we had 3 ) came by to deliver to my "mini tanks." a little while after that, I gave in. I was done fighting on my own. I called my mom at work. I need to go to the hospital. Something just isn't right. I knew that I wanted to go to the hospital ER in a calm state, (which the hospital I needed to go to was an hour away). My mom came home in less forty-five minutes, I had on my olive green gouchos, a navy blue AE t-shirt and black slipper booties (my legs and feet swollen as elephant's legs). Into the truck we go and make our journey. Despite being mid-feburary, the sun was really warm on my bare arms.
We got called in the ER, filled out paperwork, all that first business first before they even see you. The ER was so crowded. Triage was crowded. Lots of tests, blood, waiting,etc. I sat on a slender bed, my mom sat with me the whole time. I had my first balloon catheter inserted down there :( Uncomfortable, this meant i was going to be in this hospital maybe a few days? Oh and i got my first blood gasket ever too. The lady who did it didn't lie (which i completely appreciate honesty), it was going to hurt and that made me nervous because they use a big ugly needle to go in your artery ( got little veins that roll, they always use butterfly needles) ahhhhh. My mom held my hand and prayed so hard that by the time the blood gasket was over, i was like, "really, it's over, the worst is over?" That is one example of how God was with us, with me. Thank you mom for your prayers. God helps ease the pain.We ended up staying the night in triage, with a loud, big family squished in right across the other side of the curtain. Spanish music and fried chicken buckets lol. a party with the sick, me and my mom laughed. We closed our eyes while late night tv talk shows hummed in the background.
1 comment:
I can only imagine what it must have been like to choose to change your life in such a drastic way. Though in changing it, you were really saving it. That is just so powerful and brave Britt.
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