a not so graceful day

It's obvious that I haven't posted anything in two weeks. Frankly, this season in my life has been a difficult one. My emotions have been running high, my body in physical pain, my brain becoming exhausted and spiritually I am fighting against negative forces. I've been feeling like Satan has been attacking me, trying to sway me off the faithful path the past couple months, especially that past six weeks. He's trying to get me while I am most vulnerable and weak, but he will not succeed! I've received three priesthood blessings that have helped me to endure and give me comfort in my trying times.

My left leg has been hurting me bad the past seven weeks and it only seems to be getting worse. I get spasms, throbbing or sharp shooting pain. Now my back has been giving me grief for a week now. Some days are more trying while others are not so bad, but my pain tolerance is low, very low. I've been taking pain medication and my primary doctor prescribed me a low dose of baclofen, a muscle relaxer, but that doesn't seem to be helping much and I need the dosage increased to 20mg because that's the usual norm prescribed. This doctor doesn't really know much about my muscle disease, so I can't blame. I just can't wait to get to see my neurologist on Monday June 9th. He oversees my SMA (spinal muscle atrophy) and I know he will know how to better manage my pain and help me better.

On tuesday of this week, I had a not-so-graceful-day. The first part of my day was going great. I babysat little P. for a couple hours or so. I took with her with me to the pharmacy with my friend James. She behaves so well and is so helpful. While we were out at the store, she helped me pick out items that I couldn't reach. This is her nature: so sweet, so willing to help and so full of love. She randomly tells me all the time that I am her best friend. The sweetest! She begged me the day before to play games on my laptop, but we ran out of time. I told her she could the next day (tuesday). Later in the afternoon, I set up her games on NickJr.com for her to play Paw Patrol and happily she was content for a while. I went in the living room and watched netflix with my roommate sherri. Little P. kept calling me for asking for help because the screen would freeze on my laptop or somehow she clicked out of the game, etc. I started to get irritated and around the same time, my leg started flaring up. I know it's no excuse, my pain, but I raised my voice at little P. and I found myself getting mad at her for "bothering" me with needing help with her game. Poor thing, she just needed help. She wasn't doing anything wrong. Later, I snapped at James and he was only trying to help me (though I didn't want or need his help). I apologized to James for being snappy. He said he didn't even notice! lol. What a great friend he is to me.

I was getting frustrated because mostly because I was in pain, and even though sometimes I am physically tired from the muscle relaxer, I am and was more tired of hurting and dealing with this every. single. day. It's all taxing. This was the start of an emotional breakdown later that evening as I lay in bed staring at my popcorn paint ceiling. So many negative thoughts flooded my mind, but i combatted them with positive ones, telling myself:

"Brittany, this pain will not last forever.
"this too shall pass."
"God is with you. You're not alone. You have such a great support system. You have your family and amazing friends who love and support you."
"I am weak right now, needing help, but in Christ you are made strong."

I prayed and pleaded with God to help me. to give me strength. I said, "God, I need you. I cannot do this alone. There is no way. I need your help. Please be with me."

I tried to fight the tears, but they came anyway. I am glad. I need to get over this, "crying is shameful."

It's ok to be down. It's ok to feel sad and overwhelmed and frustrated.

I realized that I am gifted with grace through my Savior.
From 2 Corinthians 12:9, And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." How much this verse speaks to me!

He perfects me little by little. I am not perfect by any means. I mean, see how I reacted on tuesday.

I started reading this article called, "Those who are all different" by Elder Marlin K. Jensen from the August 2010 Ensign. I read the first page, and BAM! The tears started rollin, my heart was partially broken and yet, uplifted. It made me think about my life and how my muscle disease is getting worse as I type this. It made me think about how much tougher my life has been the past two months, but also the challenges that lie ahead. I thought about God's plan for my life and how my little life is part of his divine, great plan. In comparison, no doubt, I would gladly take these burdens rather than a child or young adult. I KNOW I would. Things may be hard, but I know I can endure them with the help of my heavenly father and through these struggles, I can see how my compassion and empathy will increase and that is a gift. Maybe I will discover my strength? Maybe I'll become more brave and more strong in my faith. I always love growing closer to my God and I think he loves that too. I know He loves me. His love and mercy is greater than any burden I may carry.

my new reality: part 1

This past week has been an emotional one for sure.
My grandpa henry passed away somewhat suddenly last Wednesday, March 26th.

Let me tell you how much I saw God's hand in my life last week.

Last sunday, march 23-24th, I was having a discussion with a good friend about loss, death, family, eternal life and the things that really matter. Looking back, I feel like that talk with him prepared me for Wednesday. Tuesday night, my friend Carrie posted on our ward's facebook page if it was fast/testimony sunday (yesterday) and I thought, "yeh I am not going to go up for testimony since I just did a few weeks ago). This will come into play later. My mom happened to have vacation from work last week and we had planned for her to come visit me two weeks prior for the 26th. On wednesday, my mom and I went to Rubio's for lunch, one of our favorite places to eat. As we were waiting for dialride to pick us up to go there, my cousin steph called but I don't like talking on the phone when I am with other people, so I texted her and told her i'd call her back later that I was with my mom. Well, about 10 minutes later, my phone is vibrating and it's my dad calling, but I didn't answer because I was literally going down the lift on the dialaride bus and it was too loud for me to answer. My mom and I order food and get settled at a table and start eating when my dad calls again. I had to pick up. I knew something was going on to have him and my cousin be calling me at the same time. I answer, say, "hi dad." and my dad replies, "hi brittany. um, grandpa henry passed away this morning. yeh, my dad passed away." what felt like a minute, was probably just a couple seconds that it took to register in my brain that grandpa was dead. I immediately start crying, which quickly turned into sobbing. my mom is crying too and got up to stand and hug me to the side and picked up the phone because I couldn't even talk to my dad.

I cried and couldn't believe this happened (the shock factor.) Different thoughts crossed my mind including, "everyone in rubio's is probably wondering what happened to that girl." Then I didn't care, my grandpa just died. After I settled down a bit, in crying I asked my dad what happened. how did it happen? He said, "i don't know. all i know is that natalie (his girlfriend) found him and that we got to get his body to the mortuary right now."

After I got off the phone with my dad, I cried off and on more and just gushed out to my mom how thankful I was that she was with me that day. It's rare that my mom visits me during the week and just the fact that she was there with me was such a blessing. Later after we got home, I had a group of friends show up as we had a meeting planned for 4pm. I completely spaced it after talking with my dad. My elder missionaries and my friend J gave me a blessing which was so comforting and my girls (aka my teachers) gave me hugs and just let me know they were there for me. My friend stayed and talked with me for an hour and I cried more. Then, later that evening my friend Des stopped by unexpectedly and we talked and cried together for a little over an hour. It was such a Spirit filled conversation I just felt so strongly God's love for me that day.

Personally, I've had many condolences offered and prayers offered on behalf of me and my family. we truly appreciate it so much. I've had many texts and phone calls and facebook comments and messages left offering words of comfort as well as just communicating with family near and far. It was honestly overwhelming those first few days, not to say that I am not grateful. it's just that my grandpa was a popular, friendly, funny guy. I am so blessed to have so many who love me. Also, i think it was thursday evening that my friend carrie stopped by with flowers for me and was good to chat with her about other things too and then my friend rachel came by saturday and again, was so therapuetic to talk about my grandpa and just his life and the last two days of memories I have with him which I'll share in another post.

So about testimony/fast sunday? Yeh, after wednesday, that night, i just knew that I had to go up and share my testimony, the things I know and believe. I did and I went up for my grandpa. To share a bit about him and even though this is a time of saddness because we miss him, there is hope in Christ and the atonement.

In Mosiah 16:7-9,

  "And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.

  But there is a resurrection , therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.

  He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death. "

It comforts me to no end that death does NOT claim victory over us. Because of Christ and his sacrifice and resurrection, He overcame death and it's such a blessing to know that death will not conquer us either and that we can have eternal life and live in a perfect paradise with our creator, God. I know I'll see my grandpa again, someday.

It's monday now, and it still hasn't quite hit me that my life is completely changed with my grandpa gone. This is my new reality: that I must keep going forward and living my life wholeheartedly and passionately as he did. I do know that I've just gone through and am going through a major life defining moment. I know everything will be good because of my Heavenly Father and the promises he has made. My faith and trust lies in Him and my grandpa would want each of his family members and friends to not be sad so much, but rejoice  and honor  his life and that's what we will be doing later this week. Forever yours grandpa.

Because you are...

I've been debating about when to publish this post. While my original plan was to post this on thursday (running back and forth about the fact that giveaways do better when started on a monday--i read this stat somewhere)..and my plans for sunday style (tomorrow)...i just couldn't fight the feeling that it needed to be posted today.

I typed my thoughts for this post at 2:08 am yesterday morning while laying in bed. Sometimes, the best inspiration comes to me at night when I can't sleep, haha. My cousin Joe has these moments too, and maybe that's the artist in us. The creative mind. I hope it leaves you thinking about how great you are, even if we don't know each other.

Did you know that you are worth so much? So much more than the price of Rubies (Proverbs 31). Do you feel unloved, less than or lonely? I know that I do at times. I know that comparison is a killer of joy. I am guilty of comparing myself to other who I "see" as perfect. This leads to me not loving myself and not being thankful for the talents and gifts I DO have! For every good and perfect gift is from above (James 1:17). The girl I see as perfect, who has a pretty face, a thinner body, healthy hair and stylish clothes, well she has struggles too. She faces insecurities just as I do. No one is exempt from trials and hardships. No one is entirely happy all. the. time. It's comforting to know that God sees all his children on an equal plane. No one is above the other. I want to see others and myself as God sees them! and it's possible.

How can I say that you are beautiful or handsome? That you are loved? That you are worth MORE than you think? I can because I am a daughter, sister/sibling, friend just like you. I understand how it feels to doubt myself. I know how it feels to think your life may never change...for the better. I've been in that place where you don't feel pretty (hey, i still sometimes think that!). You are pretty (or handsome, guys!). I've been in that place where you don't feel like what you have to give is enough. You are so valuable in our father's eyes and in others, because you are! You are full of promise! Believe that. Your life is a gift. You are here for a divine reason. Your life is meant to touch others. Your life is a gift to others even if you think you haven't made an impact in some large scale. It's the little things. If you don't think so, try focusing on someone in need, a complete stranger perhaps and do some simple act of kindness. I bet you'll feel better that you extended love and generosity to someone who was very possibly having some struggle too. I promise you hope. There is always hope. Hold onto it. Believe in miracles because you are a miracle.

weekend re-cap

So over the weekend I...

-rented movies from redbox with James.
you probably saw that redbox was out of alot of movies if you rented movies too. At least ours was.
I didn't get to finish watching the Great Gatsby, but what I did see was good. I absolutely LOVED the menswear and the ladieswear that they wore in that time period. So classy and gorgeous.

-stayed inside friday during the day and all day saturday. we sure did have a heck of alot of rain on saturday. I loved watching the rain and branches of the trees swaying from my window. AZ sure did need it. Katie was kind enough to do a Del Taco run, so that's what we had for lunch. Pibb Xtra was my drink of choice as I worked on blogging stuff.

-experienced my first LDS temple dedication of the Gilbert, Arizona temple. It was a neat experience, one that I will never forget. I just felt full of hope during the session. It was nice to have good friends to sit with too, like miss tscotty (below)! She's adorable!

-I got to meet Alyssa Dawson of Impractical Composition! Say what??! She is the sister-in-law of one of my friends, so he kinda got us connected, mentioning each other to each other and then, we just happened to meet at church! She's so sweet, caring and fashionable!

I know this is like the third giveaway going on within a week, it's just how it happened, but I'm giving away a few goodies over at Life with a side of coffee this week and while you're there, you can read Christina's book review! Yay for book nerds! I love reading! :)

and fyi, friend me at: Trevinoscloset on instagram to shop my closet! Just posted some stuff today!

Anything exciting happen to you this weekend?
Hope you all have a great week!

-linking up with Lisa & Rachel and Alyssa.

just keep swimming.

"Don't be afraid to be unique or speak your mind, because that's what makes you different from everyone else," ---Dave Thomas 1932-2002, Founder of Wendy's

My friend and neighbor Kae posted this quote on her facebook page recently and I thought it was SO perfect for this post.

I will not be ashamed or be afraid to share what's on my heart.  That includes sharing about my faith and the decisions i've made that have led me to this point in my life. I haven't publicly declared my religious affiliation ever. Like, not even when I was a practicing Catholic, or when I considered myself non-denominational Christian. It's so crazy scary to become so vulnerable and share something so private, personal and sacred but as you know, I've always been open and honest about my life and well, faith is my life motivator and core of who I am. That is something I don't see changing. In this little space of the internet, I bear part of my story.

I've had this post sitting in my drafts for weeks now. I got distracted with being sick and other social activities that I haven't forced myself to quiet time and sit here in silence with my thoughts to pour out my heart and leave it for all to see/read.

About a month ago I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It was a beautiful, spiritual day for me and those who attended. Alot of different emotions ran through but they were all good. Such a memorable, blessed day!!

I won't go into too much detail of how I got there (maybe later), but I can tell you that I've seen many blessings many months before I officially became a member of the Church. Some of these blessings would have brought me to my knees if I could kneel!

Every Good and perfect gift comes from above. ---James 1:17

Last summer, when I first told some family members, including my mom and dad, that I wanted to convert to this church, I was very nervous about their thoughts and reactions. They took it quite well. I was so relieved. The bottom line is that they love me and they support whatever makes me happy. Some teachings of the "mormon" church are the same as in the Catholic church, and I think that's what made it not so "weird" plus they knew that I was interested in the Church years ago. I felt incredibly blessed to have them back me up as I faced challenges with close friends opposing the LDS church and my decision (they are completely entitled to their opinions and beliefs as am i). I cannot even express how much I love my family and how them being there for me means to me.

There were times I felt so overwhelmed and stressed, that I cried and I cried to God that He would strengthen me through those times. I know that on this journey, there will always be people who oppose, but that doesn't and will not stop me from growing in the gospel and keeping the faith. All I want is for others to let me be and allow me the same freedoms they hold as they practice their faith (first amendment) or their choice to not even be Christian, you know what I mean. While I've had adversity there have been more moments of happiness and I know they were a gift from God. Such happiness that my heart seemed as though it would burst. I was overcome with gratefulness yet just appreciation for this beautiful life, that I get to experience such happy, simple moments.

Just like the old saying, treat others how you'd like to be treated. I guess it's hard for me to understand others disagreeing with me when I'm only accepting of their choices who make them who they are, which is wonderful. I believe we are all children of God and we are all in this together.

I am not here to preach or condemn, that is not my intention at all. Preaching and telling someone what they should do or what they should believe is totally not my style, AT ALL. I do, however, feel comfortable enough to share my beliefs and the things that bring me joy. If my story gives you hope or courage to take that leap of faith, in whatever aspect of your life, church related or not, then I am so glad! If you have questions for me(within reason) whether it's about my personal journey or about the church, email me or leave me a comment and I will happily answer them as best as I can.

I don't know everything. I am just like you, still learning forever, but the things I do know, I cling to and have hope in. That is faith to me. I know God loves me. He is real. Our Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us so deeply, I cannot even wrap my brain around it sometimes. I know I am so blessed to know that Jesus Christ died for my sins and that through Him, I am saved and redeemed. I think most of us are always seeking truth (maybe the first part of your life) and what that truth means to us. Like Dori says in Finding Nemo, "just keep swimming." In life, we just keep moving forward and that's the direction my life has been going and the way I'd like to keep it. I have my truth and my testimony grows as I grow.

This bird has been set free.

what is your truth? are you still searching?
what do you believe in?
could simply be kindness and love :)

catching up: the gilbert lds temple + glendale chocolate affaire

It feels nice to be writing on my laptop again. The weather has been glorious and I sat outside on my way in from mailing off some valentine's yesterday morning. The sun's rays warm on my face, the birds chirping in the nearby tree and the silence of the morning brought me moments of peace. I thanked God for that day and for the ways He shows us his love. He created all things and so, the beauty and intricacies of nature and life, just made me smile so much.

I am happy because I sold about eight valentine cards in the last week. It makes me happy that people like my cards, but also that they buy them to give to their loved ones. I think about the sliver of cheer that person receives when they get handed a card I made.

Remember when I told you I was sick? Well, i feel SOO much better since then. I am not quite 100% but dang, I feel so much better. I am thankful for medicine that works! and seriously, for God who gives me strength. Thanks to you for sending me well wishes and prayers, they worked :)

Over one of the most awesomest weekends, I had so much fun and was nice to visit my hometown.

Friday, a few friends and I met up with my mom, aunt June, grandpa H. and his girlfriend Nat at the Gilbert Temple open house. We toured the temple and it was ah-mazing! The grounds are beautiful and some parts reminded me of a garden and then the inside is just as beautiful. really so. absolutely. gorgeous. For me, it was a spiritual experience, it's hard to describe. I can't wait to go back! If you're curious as to why the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints builds temples, check out this video.

pretty little clouds just for us

ah, so breathtaking

The Temple grounds. Pretty flowers and such. and the angel Moroni atop of the temple. That up close shot was especially for my grandpa.

After the tour, grandpa & nat took us out to lunch at Arriba's mexican grill and it was delicious!! I had to bring my food home, which I gladly ate the next day for lunch.

On Saturday, a group of us went to the Glendale Chocolate Affaire. It was pretty fun. The day was gorgeous with sunshine and a touch of warmness. It was my first time going to the event and I had been wanting to go since I've lived on the west side of town for nearly six years. Now, I can say that I've been. We all kept getting samples of different fudge lol, and just looking around at different vendors. I ended up getting a chocolate coconut shake (i thought it was iced) and well, I had already ordered and paid for it, so I drank a bit, and it just too much for me, too rich lol, so thankfully Mr. J finished it for me. We vow to never order that again! haha.

selfie!

scott & kjerstin in deep convo

:)

the brothers

 A bit later, Mr. J concocted special "fry sauce" that he insisted I try..so i did, and it was tasty! We all shared this huge plate of fries because they were yummy! I got a super cute pic of Amanda and her boyfrand Andrew at what I'll call the "lovers tree." This tree is obviously old and had felt hearts tied around the tree on a diagonal. Only amanda and I were brave enough to go check out the wolf dogs. They were huge!

just the girls, dont mind the photo bomb

 The next few pics were toward the end of the afternoon. the weather was just perfect!

 

The weekend was one of the best! I still have catching up to do on the blog, but this post will suffice as I need to get back to working on valentines. Happy Wednesday! TWO more days til St. Valentine's Day!!! I am so excited!

it's a beautiful life

Without going into too much detail yet (more later), I just want to say that I had such an amazing weekend. You see, I went to a YSA, (young single adult)Church Conference this weekend in Tempe, Arizona. There were such wonderful speakers and musical numbers, that at least a handful of times, my eyes were tear filled as I felt the Holy Spirit present.

I know God uses his children as instruments to say exactly what we may need to hear. There were many important messages that can only improve my life, but help me to serve others. I love helping others when I can and my life is so enriched with service. It makes my heart happy.

One message was about our divinity and how each of us, as sons & daughters of God, are so blessed because we are chosen. Doesn't that make you feel important? We were chosen. We are wanted. Each life has value. It surely does add to and help us identify with who we are. We all have a purpose on this Earth and I am so thankful that God created me, loves me and has given me this beautiful life.

Sure, there are trials and hardships I face and will face in the future, but I know I can succeed, because I choose to walk alongside God, Jesus Christ and the Spirit. With God all things are possible and that gives me hope. So much hope that I know my future shines bright. and so does yours.

hope. in the new year.

Happy New Year!

I'd like to share what I posted on facebook earlier today,
         "Cheers to the new year! May we leave all the negative behind and surround ourselves with the positive! May your days be bright all the year through. Turn your doubts into possibilities born of faith! Reach out to those who may be forgotten or seem like they are having a bad day. A smile & kind word can make a difference! Thank you family & friends for enriching my life. Love to all!"

I want to start the new year right, especially with a brand new post for the first day of the new year! Yay! The past few weeks have been insane and there's so much to get caught up on on the blog. I feel that this year is going to be AH-MAZING! Do you?! I am so excited because there are some things that I do know that will be happening this month, like MY BIRTHDAY! haha. I've seen around the webosphere that some people choose a word for the year to focus on and help them to stay grounded.

My word for the year is: hope.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Time and time again I remember that my hope is in God. How comforted I feel to know that His Spirit can be with me, through all the days of my life. The Spirit is there to help, guide and comfort. That really brings peace to my soul.


"The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!" Lamentations 3:22-2

I find hope as the thread that keeps my faith alive in Christ and that through Christ and because of Christ, he gave hope to the world! How thankful I am for that and for the life and mission Christ gave.

Did you pick a word for the new year? What is your word?

emotional & spiritual spillage

Oh hello! it's June!

 

What happens when I don't blog for days? I spill my guts with thoughts that have been bouncing around. Be prepared for a long read.

I was sort of caught off guard last week when one of my caregivers asked me (I was talking about Crazy Love with her), "why do you get stressed or worried? I don't get how a person like you can get stressed or worried."

...(crickets)...WHAT!?

Just because I need care to get dressed, shower or toilet and have someone cook and do laundry for me doesn't mean my life is easy.

I don't get how she can think that. No one is immune to how life affects them. I always find myself, especially around here, my home, having feel the need to explain myself.

I didn't care to explain so much, but just gave her one example of why I stress or worry. It's mostly internal/self-conflict reasons that causes worry or stress.

Ever since reading Crazy Love, I've been trying to be more intentional with my time. I've been trying to put my trust in God and allow Him to help me with the worry or stress I carry. With how and when I pray and commune with God; "not just a 3 minute mumbled prayer" when i try to go to sleep.

God is so great. My eyes are filling up with tears at how wonderful He is. I am so blessed, even when I don't deserve such blessings, because I am always messing up. I am not an angel. My grandpa says with a chuckle, "alot of people, they are no angels."

I know grandpa. I know.

We won't ever be perfect here in this life, as Jesus is the only perfect Son, but we can attain to better ourselves and simply accept the grand love that God offers us.
Because of His grace, he loves me despite my flaws.
Because of His grace, he makes me into something beautiful.

God continues to show me blessings in my life.{allie, i love you! your friendship means so much to me}. They are treasures waiting to be found! I promise, if you look closely, they are there for you too! I am glad that at least my eyes are open enough to see some of them as I am sure I am oblivious to other ones (let's blame it on human selfish nature.)

Oh dear, I am quite emotional right now lol.

Because making lists is something I just do, here are a few things I want to write to help me of the beautiful things that I've been given. There is Jesus in so many parts of our day! What do you see?

+I am thankful that my mom is here with me. Here, meaning, alive and only an hour away. I am just glad that my mom is my mom. That she chose me, to have me, to love & want whatever makes me happy.

+I am thankful that my dad & stepmom came to hang out with me on sunday for almost three hours. My dad treated me with an iced vanilla coffee! yum.

+I am thankful that I have an appreciation for storytelling through film. Chila and I watched, Of Mice and Men yesterday on netflix and wow. I don't think I could handle reading the book. It's heartbreaking to see the bittersweet tragedy of loving someone so much even though you put them out of their misery (again, they not knowing.)
Maybe sometimes it's better to not be aware of how cruel the world can be?

+I am thankful for encountering the young pregnant lady who is choosing life. She had a really cute shirt on too.

+I am thankful to my grandparent's for going to get Perla's vaccines on such short notice, just so that they could bring their fur baby to come visit me every week. (rules)

and now for your listening pleasure, I leave you with Brandon Heath.
I LOOOOVEE this song!
I am on my way to download it. repeat is in its near future.

crazy about crazy love

You guys, I started reading a new book over the weekend that is punching me in the guts and making me stop in my tracks to examine my heart.

The book is called, Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

Earlier this year, this book was added to my list of books to eventually read!

Now, when you hear or in this case, read the title, Crazy Love what comes to mind? 
A. a wild romance
B. dating relationship gone wrong
C. a parent's love for their child/children

It's neither of the above but almost close to option C.

It's about God's immense love for us, his children and how he wants us to love him with all our heart, soul & mind. ((matt 22:37-38))

Me & my bff C decided to read it together. She has it on audio I believe. We both have read through chapter 5 (as of last night). It's insane! I love that we are reading this together to help keep each other accountable (something I am not good at alone!) and to spiritually grow with God's help, his grace.

Some people, even Christians may call the ideals in this book, radical, but Chan writes that God wants, deserves and demands our best. Not drawing near to God out of guilt, but out of genuine love.

From the back of the book, I quote, "Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn't working  harder at a list of do's and dont's-it's falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything."

WOW!

I've taken some notes from the chapters I've read so far. There is so much to digest. There is so much more I could share. I'll probably pick back up on chapter six tomorrow night.

In one of the chapters, we are reminded from Luke 18:27, "what is impossible with man is possible with God." Amen, right!?

Gosh, I LOVE that! Through God, all things that seem hopeless in our life don't have to be that way. With God, there IS hope, possibilities and opportunities!

Have you heard of Crazy Love? Have you read it or are you reading it? 

What do you think about it?

p.s. if you haven't, check out the current giveaway! :)

what I wore wednesday: striped skirt + printed shirt

If you watched my vlog last thursday, you would have heard me ask about a rusty colored striped skirt I own and what color of top you thought it'd go with?

Well, this little outfit I pulled together below involves that skirt & the theme of growth.

We're gonna be digging deep here. [no pun intended]
Wait, you mean, this isn't just a fashion post? haha, nope.

rolling out of my comfort zone forces me to grow.

In this case, expanding my horizons from the clothes that live in my closet.

I decided that I would confront the task of selecting this skirt to wear & brainstorm with what I had in my closet, what shirt to pair with it?

Hmm. Hmm.

Top pick: this fading printed park scene top that I scored from Urban Outfitters years ago.

Never in my adult life have I mixed prints.

Why is that? I asked myself.

With every question & thought that ran in my mind, every answer & reply was based on fear.

Was I not confident to pull that off?
I think the girls (namely 2) will tell me they don't like my outfit/skirt/top.
and i don't feel like dealing with their negative comments.
Why not brittany?
You're a creative person. So many people have commented in the past about how stylish you look, you can do this.

So with this sort-of self-talk, I decided, enough is enough.

I am tapping into my creative core & not caring what others think.
I am dressing the way I want, even if that means experimenting with color & prints and patterns that don't fit into "their" box or even my own box/mindset that I've been routinely sticking to these past 4 years..playing it safe.

Boldly going forth

You may not know, beloved reader, but my life is very predicatable.
my day to day is quite routine (HEY! that could be a whole separate blog post!) & you could say I am a creature of habit.

I mean, I eat the same foods for breakfast 94% of the time.

But you know what? there's some creative spark that is kicking to grow into a great bright flame.

there's something going on inside my soul that is wanting to branch out.
that is eager to push the limits that I've set upon myself.

and I am not just talking about fashion either.

For too long, I've kept quiet (not being assertive) & watched my tongue.
I am not saying that I will all-of-a-sudden become mean & rude, but rather voice my opinion when someone insults me or gives their unnecessary opinions.

My friend Cortni from junior high wrote on her facebook page at least two years ago,

"it's better to be kind than right."

I'll always remember that.

It's going to be a bit painful becoming a pro at being assertive. I avoid conflict like some incurable deathly disease.

But like that old sayng, No pain No gain.

I need to grow. I am tired of feeling like I am in the same place.
I believe it's part of God's plan for His children while they living this Earthly life.

I also want to take a more active role in my faith journey.

I cannot even tell you the exact day that I opened my Bible.

Yes, I pray nearly daily. But I want more, again. I want my heart to be opened more to God's love & to learn more of His ways so that I can be an answer to someone's prayer perhaps. I want to be strong enough to help others when they are in need.

It's time me for to go and read the Word and take some notes!

And all of this stems from challenging myself with what I will wear with this orange striped skirt.
Who knew that a fashion question could turn into something that re-starts my spirit?

Shirt: Urban Outfitters
Skirt: Target
Earrings: F21
Sunglasses: Charlotte Russe
Headband: from one of those daily deal newsletters.

 *no this is not a sponsored post by target or urban outfitters or any other retailer.