I guess that's one good result of being sick.
It forces you to take a time out, rest, be reflective.
I sure have done alot of deep thinking & day dreaming in the past couple of weeks.
Even amidst my more quiet-er, slower days, I have heard such busyness & loud chatter in my head.
words of worry.
"I hope I don't hurt his feelings."
"Will they both find a good, full-time job?"
words of fear.
"I don't want to live my life alone, anymore."
"How can i really talk to him & make our relationship better?"
" I am scared of their potential reactions & thoughts."
words of doubt.
"Am I wasting away my God-given talents?"
"Maybe love is not all you need. Maybe I am not enough."
Then! I realized that I was allowing my mind to tell me these lies.
How sneaky the evil one tries to persuade us of these false, discouraging things.
Maybe it was like that because I was in a more weakened state, vulnerable, emotionally, spiritually, mentally & physically?
Those are the kinds of times it seems when people are under attack the most. maybe?
Frankly, I did feel pretty bogged down for days in a row. Not feeling myself. Not feeling cheery. Not feeling talkative. Not really enjoying being in company, but rather isolated.
But as sure as the sun rises, those feelings crept away.
I began to see the rainbow after the rain.
The brilliant truths emerged! At least, I believed them. I saw them, once again!
Even in a state of distress, whatever that may be: sickness, debt, relationship status, etc, there is always something to be thankful for. There is always something to make us smile & let us know it's going to be ok. It may be "bad" now, but there is a promise of better days to come! We can still enjoy the "now." We can be ever present in what is happening in our lives & look deeper into ourselves & see that life is a gift.
I am always ready & willing to surround myself with those who seek goodness & wisdom. I am appreciative of those ( & often unknowingly) who point me in the right direction, the direction to God!
Without my faith in Him, I would not be who I am. And I like myself.
Like everyone ( i assume) , I have parts of me that I wish to improve.
Just earlier today, I realized that my heart was not so quick to be kind + selfless.
I immediately noticed that and I felt humbled with silence as I knew that I can do better. It bothered me that that was my initial reaction to a kind request.
I was silenced because I saw that my heart was a bit ugly.
Is there anything/characteristic that you know you need to work on?
It's such a beautiful thing that our human capacity to love, to serve, to be selfless, to be honest & caring can grow. isn't it?
If only we could all see each other & ourselves as God sees us, His children, what a wonderful view that would be.
linking up for the first time with Amanda at A Royal Daughter.